Mad World
by Tiggy the Hopeless Romantic
Summary: It's a very, very mad world, mad world... Elphaba's never wanted anything more than to be able to take an active part in the Resistance. But this assignment might be more than she can take.
1. Chapter 1

**Alright, wanted to post a little note. Originally, this story was rated M, but I feel like a lot of people hadn't been able to see it or were afraid of the rating. As there isn't going to be any graphic sex or violence, I decided to lower it to a T rating. That being said, there are some darker themes and adult language. Thanks!**

Plot bunny I've had stuck in my head for something like a year and a half. It wouldn't work... but then something gave and it all clicked! So here is Mad World, names after the 80's song Adam Lambert covered.

This originally was going to have a long prologue, but I eventually decided it was dull and unnecessary... so I'm sort of starting in the middle of things, but I think it works better this way.

* * *

"You wanted to speak with me?" she asked, feeling breathless as excitement bubbled under the surface. She tried to keep it from showing but knew she wasn't doing a wonderful job of it. Her attempt at being cool, calm, and collected had failed.

Jackyl nodded to her. "Yes, Fae. Just waiting for one more."

"Who?" she asked, feeling impatient.

"Leonine." She turned her nose up in distaste at that and Jackyl laughed at her. "He knows the target- your target. You are going to need his help. Unless you'd rather pass on this and let someone else-"

"No, not at all. Where is the dear? Glad to work with him." He laughed at her, but it was good natured.

Elphaba, a few weeks shy of her twenty-third birthday, had been raised among the Resistance for her entire life- not that she had been aware of that for most of it. She'd been brought to the Emerald City by her grandmother, or at least an old woman claiming to be her grandmother- everyone had had doubts about there being a biological relationship there, including Elphaba. The woman had died when Elphaba had been a small child, only about four or five. She had gone on to live with a few friends of the old woman. Minette and her husband Carsine had welcomed her into their home with open arms, and her own curiosity had gotten her mixed up in the terrorist group that kind-faced Carsine was the founder of.

She loved it, except for the fact that due to her gender and youth, plus the fact that all of the leaders of the Resistance had known her when she was in pig-tails meant she had very, very little to do. She attended meetings, but knew little of what was going on. Carsine insisted on keeping her out of the worst of it, and no one challenged him. He was one of the nicest men you could meet, but he thought of Elphaba as his daughter, and didn't want her hurt.

Really, it was sweet most of the time.

Leonine finally showed up then, "What do you need me for, Jackyl? Miss Fae," he said, nodding to her. He was arragant, vain, and cocky. Elphaba hated him, but no one else seemed to mind him much. Worse, he was perfectly aware of how much she disliked him and enjoyed egging her on. He was Gillikinese and came from a wealthy family, underscored by the fact that he had attended University. How he had become a terrorist, she didn't know.

"She's going to need your help, you need to introduce her to the Vinkun Prince."

For the first time she could remember, Leonine looked disturbed. "What do we need with him?"

Jackyl shrugged. "Hopefully nothing but a little information. Your old buddy's father died about a year ago. He's the leader of the most powerful Vinkun tribe, and as such is the most potentially influential man in the West. Hasn't done much of anything yet, just maintained order and ensured old laws are followed, which is fine. We just have no idea what his thoughts on the Wizard are. Most likely he already opposes him, or can be convinced to come to our side. If not... well, let's not think about that yet."

"So what, you want me to ask him what he thinks about politics?"

"No. You're noble born and no matter how good friends you are, he might suspect something from you. He'll only be really honest with someone he expects to have no political ideas, someone who probably wouldn't understand much of what he's talking about anyway. That's where Fae comes in. She can feign innocence and ignorance. She can probably get him to open his mouth, and she'll be able to keep tabs on him."

"What?" the word popped out of her mouth as she began to feel uncomfortable about what she was to do.

Leonine smirked at her obvious discomfort. "Fae, the Prince isn't some twelve year old kid. He's not quite a year older than you. He's stuck in an arranged marriage, since he was a little boy. Word is he's never been unfaithful, but...."

She held her hand up as she already understood what he was implying and had had enough of it. "Are you really saying you want me to sleep with him to see where his political ideology is?" She shivered in disgust at being used as nothing better than a whore.

Jackyl looked down. "If you can get the information without bedding him, by all means... but you need to get the information, first and foremost." He smiled, knowing she wasn't quite convinced to do it, "Unless you're afraid to do it. Surely one of the other young ladies in the Resistance would be willing to do her part-"

She cut him off. "Stop it, you know I'm doing it. What's his name, anyway?"

"Fiyero."


	2. Chapter 2

First chapter of anything to be completely composed on my brand new laptop! Ummm. A little note... this story is bookverse, but Elphaba is not allergic to water. Mostly because when I wrote this up I forgot about the water allergy. It's not important to the story in any way, just didn't want you all to think Elphie was suicidal whenever she takes a drink of water. I didn't even remember the water allergy until I edited this chapter.

* * *

"Woah," she mumbled as she stepped into the hotel room behind Leonine. "This room is huge! Our entire apartment could fit in here!"

He smiled, amused at her enthusiastic reaction. "Your bedroom is down the hall and you have a bathroom attached," he said, sitting down on the couch. She resisted the urge to comment on that, not wanting to give him something new to tease her for. Instead she explored the room, gazing out at the city from the large window. "So Carsine isn't loaded, then? Most everyone assumed-"

"Most everyone assumed wrong," she shot back, annoyed with him mostly out of habit. The golden boy of a wealthy Gillikinese family had graduated from Shiz University and had moved to the Emerald City. During the day he lived the life of a playboy and during the night he was a member of the Resistance. Most everyone adored him, but Elphaba couldn't understand why. He had always struck her as arrogant and vain. The fact that the Prince that was her charge was his long time friend wasn't appealing. "My family lives in the apartment above the old restaurant my mother worked in before she passed on. Just because my father founded the Resistance doesn't mean we have any extra source of income. We scrape by like everyone else- or almost everyone else," she said, giving him a pointed glare. "Any excess money we get goes back to the cause." Oddly, his apologetic look and lack of comment infuriated her even more. "What's that?" she asked, pointing to a green glass bottle sitting on the mantle.

The hotel was being rented so she would appear more aristocratic to the wealthy prince- as well as support the character she was to play. Her suite had been finely furnished and several dresses had been made for her. Most of the trinkets she recognized or she could clearly see a use for- but not the bottle. "Oh. Carsine had it. He told me it belonged to your birth mother- your grandmother said so."

"Oh," she whispered, fingering the bottle. She opened the top, sniffing the liquid inside. She wrinkled up her nose and repeated, "But what is it?"

"Probably some fancy liquor. I wouldn't try it, though," he said, taking the bottle and placing it back on the shelf. "Here's your key," he said as he handed it to her. "I should get going, so you can get comfortable."

"Alright," she said, walking him to the door.

He hesitated in the doorway, turning back to her. "Fae, just so you know... I-"

"What?" she asked, disturbed by seeing him look concerned. "What's the matter?"

"Don't worry about things, alright? And my name is Avaric." The Resistance made great use of nicknames, few people knowing what anyone's real name was. Of course, what with her upbringing, everyone knew Fae was truly Elphaba, but the name made her feel more secure. Secrecy, hidden identities. "That's what Fiyero knows me as."

"So that's what I'll call you," she said, shutting the door on him and locking it.

* * *

"It's nice to meet you, Miss Elphaba. I wish I could say Avaric has told me all about you, but he's kept you a secret." He shook the hand she offered. She'd been expecting a smooth one, not used to hard work- like Avaric's, but the Prince's hand was rough- a tribal Prince, she reminded herself. It was appealing, if only because it did not remind her of Avaric.

She squirmed under her "cousin's" arm. "Elphaba speaks for herself, I wouldn't do her justice if I tried to describe her to you." He pulled one of the chairs out and motioned for her to sit down. Fiyero sat down across from her, but before Avaric could settle into his seat, a waiter approached. "Master Avaric, I'm sorry to interrupt your evening, but the manager would like to speak with you about a business deal the two of you discussed earlier? He assured me it would only take a moment."

The waiter, Jackyl, winked at Elphaba when he was fairly sure Fiyero wouldn't notice. Avaric stood back up, calm and collected, looking apologetic. "I'm sorry, Fiyero, Elphaba. It will be just a moment."

"It's fine," Fiyero assured him and Jackyl whisked Avaric away.

Elphaba looked down into her lap, studying the intricate design of bead work at the hem of her dress. The dress was heavy and uncomfortable. Even worse, her corset had her half unable to breathe. She made a mental note not to mock the upper class ladies with their dizzy spells. Between the hot dresses, high heels, and the corset, she felt faint. Neither of them said anything in an uncomfortably long awkward silence until she glanced up to her water glass to see him staring at her. He looked away quickly. "What?"

"Nothing," he said quickly. "Do you know what you'd like? I don't think Av would mind us ordering without him. Do you think so, Miss Elphaba?"

"I don't think he would mind, Prince Fiyero."

He waived his hand. "The title really isn't necessary."

"Then I expect you will call me Elphaba, and leave the Miss business behind you."

He smiled, appreciating her attitude. "Alright then, Elphaba."

"So what will you be having for dinner, Fiyero?"

"I was thinking the chicken," he said, frowning at her expression. "What's the matter?"

She supposed then was just as good a time to begin accumulating information on him as any. "I just wonder where they get their meat from. We don't really have a way of knowing if it's really Chicken."

He looked appropriately disturbed. "Good point, something else might be a better choice. Are you a vegetarian, then?"

She shrugged. "I'm not opposed to people or Animals eating meat if it came from animals that were treated as kindly as possible. However, unless you slaughter the animal yourself, you have no way of knowing what you are eating. So, yes, I am."

"I think I'm going for rice, then."

She nodded happily, but a thought struck her: _just because you find the idea of accidentally eating Animal meat repulsive doesn't mean you're pro Animal Rights and object to the Wizard_. She shook it off, reminding herself that she was not supposed to defend his innocence or prove him guilty. All she was supposed to do was come up with information- it didn't matter to her if the Resistance decided he was a competent leader or not. Her mission would be a success as long as she found the information.

But still, a part of her hoped he was safe.

She didn't have a chance to dwell on any of those thoughts though, because Avaric reappeared then, sitting down between them. "I hope you didn't miss me too much."

Fiyero smiled. "I did, but Elphaba kept me company." Avaric groaned at the joke, but whispered to Elphaba when Fiyero was distracted. "A strong start. Good job."

She smiled as she picked at her salad but had no idea what to say, not knowing why she suddenly felt uncomfortable.


	3. Chapter 3

Over the next few weeks, Avaric told Elphaba everything he knew about Fiyero. He was the only son of the late Arjiki Chieftain. He'd been legally bound to his wife, Sarima since they were seven, and she had moved in with him after he had graduated with a political science degree from Shiz University. He and and his wife had three children, two boys, Irji and Manek, and a baby girl named Nor. He adored his children, was indifferent about his wife, and was annoyed by Sarima's younger sisters who had all moved in with her.

Avaric held him in high regard, that much was very obvious.

He helped her keep tabs on his whereabouts. Frequently, she was able to cross paths with him, sometimes leading to them having a meal together, or just talking as they walked. Sometimes he would walk her, well not home, but back to her hotel. "What's the Gillikin like? I went to school there, but saw surprisingly little of it."

"Oh, most of our family doesn't live there anymore. 'Ric's branch of the family is the only one there, really. I've lived in the Emerald City my entire life."

Fiyero frowned at that, confused. "I thought your family was in the Gillikin? That's why you were staying in the hotel suite for the season?"

Fuck, she mentally cursed herself. "My parents just moved up North, to check on some property they are considering buying. We sold our old manor, but I'm staying here until they get settled."

"Oh," he said, not suspecting a thing. She felt bad for that- she didn't like lying, especially not to someone who seemed perfectly decent. He didn't expect her to lie to him, she appeared so innocent to him. It was mostly because she had no idea what she was doing. It just worked in her favor that he seemed to find the quality appealing in her."Well that makes sense, then. It seems surprising that they would let you stay by yourself, though."

"Um, they opposed it, but let me stay since Avaric is in town."

"I can't imagine Avaric taking care of a puppy, much less a human girl."

She smiled at him. "I keep as much of an eye on him as he does on me, but don't tell him that." She was glad to hear him laugh at that. They came to a stop as the stood outside her hotel. "I guess this is it, unless you'd like to come up."

Fiyero looked down for a second, and something seemed off. "I shouldn't, I'm sure you're tired. Um, I'll see you later. Goodbye!"

"Goodbye," she said, disappointed and slightly concerned about his obvious worry about spending time with her.

* * *

She sat beside Carsine in the empty Cafe, feeling edgy even before Jackyl called her forward. When he finally asked her to stand up, she felt her blood rush to her face- even with the masking spells used to protect identities, she felt exposed. They asked her about her progress with 'The Winkie'. "We've met, I've befriended him," she said, focusing on keeping her voice smooth and calm.

"Just befriended him? And she thought she heard a few snickers from the back of the room.

"So far, yes," she said, suddenly finding her boots very interesting and unable to look at anyone, particularly her father.

Jackyl cleared his throat and sent a glare to the back of the room. "Well, what information have you dug up yet?"

She wet her lips. "He appears to be sympathetic toward Animals, however I have been unable to discern where his political alliances are."

There was a little uproar at that, everyone obviously feeling she should have been able to come up with more than that. She heard Avaric speak up over the crowd. "Leave her be, she's playing the Lady, not the Whore. It'll take more time, but it's more valuable to us in the long run. Keep in mind she's making sacrifices most of us never had to," and Elphaba felt both relieved and insanely uncomfortable as she was aware all of the men in the room- including her father were probably considering the status of her virginity.

Either way, she was allowed to sit back down and keep her head down for the rest of the meeting, until most people were excused. Carsine waited for her, but she told him to go home, she would see him later. She caught Avaric by the sleeve before he could disappear. "What?" he said gruffly.

"I just wanted to thank you for sticking up for me back there. I didn't know what I was supposed to say and-"

"I wasn't sticking up for you, it's my mission, too. If you look bad, so do I. I'm not trying to be nice to you." He paused for a second before adding. "And you probably should make sure to fuck him soon. He mentioned to me that he's worried about being away from his kids for too long. He's supposed to be in the City for a while but might decide to head home early if nothing but politics is keeping him here. So you'd better make it good for him."

"You really don't need to be crude about it," she said, annoyed.

"My apologies, Miss Elphaba. How shall I say it? Let the Prince... deflower you, take your maidenhood, whatever. Sleep with him because you need to keep him here."

But she was done with him. "Whatever, sorry for trying to thank you. I'll keep that in mind next time. I don't know why I thought you were doing something nice for someone, you always have some selfish goal, don't you?"

"Would I be an Anti-Wizard terrorist if I always had some selfish interest? Elphaba, my family is money. I could have a very easy life if I wanted it, and the Wizard would fully condone that as long as I kept my mouth shut. But I can't do that."

"But why? Why not go home, start a family? I really don't understand it. Is it the family part? Daddy issues? Mommy issues? No, I bet it's the issue with starting a family? What is it, not finding any lucky ladies?"

"Many ladies have been lucky-"

"So what, you prefer the company of your male companions?" She hated herself for saying it- not for calling Avaric gay, but for lumping all homosexual men with such an asshole.

He just laughed at her though, bitterly. "Elphaba, if that were the case, I would be a very happy man. But no, I always seem to have a harpy in my head." He left without saying goodbye to her and she walked home feeling more confused and anxious than before.


	4. Chapter 4

Hey all! Here's an update that I hope you all enjoy... just reminding everyone to review! It really makes me day.

* * *

"Miss Tenmeadows?" Being called by Avaric's name was already enough to annoy her, but she told herself to relax; the bellhop hadn't done anything to vex her and snipping at him wouldn't bother Avaric.

"Yes?" she asked as politely as she could as she opened the door to the suite.

He tipped his hat to her, most likely a reflex because she knew that even in the the fancy clothes of a lady, she wasn't particularly feminine. "Sorry to be a bother, Miss," he said, and she realized she had probably failed at being polite. "But a young gentleman has requested your presence downstairs. We're settled him in a sitting room off of the main lobby and told him we'd send you down."

She frowned. "It's not my cousin, is it?" she asked, hearing the disdain in her own voice.

"No, Miss. Master Avaric let's himself up when he comes to see you," he gently reminded her. "If you're feeling... unwell, I could maybe tell your guest that you are not up to entertaining visitors at the moment."

"No!" She said, realizing there was only one man other than Avaric who might wish to speak with her. She cleared her throat, smoothing her dress. "I'll speak with him," she said, trying not to be annoyed when the bellhop led her by the arm down the stairs, as if she couldn't find the way on her own. "Thank you," she said once they reached the bottom, giving him a significant look and pressing a silver coin into his hand.

She found the sitting room with ease, and sure enough, there was Fiyero. He looked worried or something, but smiled at her, at least for a second when she walked in the room. His clothing was more Western than she was used to seeing him in- the trousers were of an odd fabric, perhaps a suede and his shirt seemed less structured and was open at the neck. She swallowed hard, noticing the pattern of blue diamond tattoos on his skin continued down his chest. "I need to do laundry," he explained to her.

"Oh," she said, making herself look at the ground. "You wanted to speak with me?"

"Yes," he said, motioning to one of the chairs. He sat down on a sofa that sat near it. "I... this is a little hard to say."

"Well, say it fast. Maybe it'll make it easier?" she smiled, looking as inviting as she could.

"I... it's not your fault, I promise. However, I don't think I can let our friendship continue."

She stood up, frowning. "What? Fiyero, what's the matter? Come up to my rooms, we can talk up there-"

She reached out to him, her hands on his arms, but he shook her away. He moved away from her so a coffee table separated them. "No, that really wouldn't be a good idea. Elphaba, you didn't do anything wrong, I did. I'm attracted to you, which wouldn't be a problem if I weren't married, but I am. I don't want to hurt anyone, not you or Sarima or my children or anyone else. I don't know how I can be just friends with you for much longer, so it's really best if we end this now."

She stepped around the table. This was her moment, she realized. This moment would determine whether or not her mission succeeded or not; she couldn't let him leave. "I don't want you to go." Her voice was soft, low. She felt him pull towards her, subconsciously, reeling away once he'd realized he'd done it. "I would miss you if you left. I don't have a lot here. I'm alone often, which isn't so bad, but sometimes..." She looked at him, studying the blue of his eyes. For a second the realization that even without the mission, she was attracted to him crossed her mind, but she didn't let that distract her. "Sometimes I really wish I had someone."

He backed away from her, tripping over a footstool but catching himself, stepping behind an oversized chair. She was making this very difficult for him. "You're a beautiful girl, surely there's someone who-"

"There isn't," she broke in. "Look at me, look at my skin!" Had he ever even commented on her skin tone? She couldn't remember him ever referencing it. She softened again, reminding herself that yelling at him probably wouldn't be in her best interest. "And it's not just anyone I would want to be with, either."

He looked away, squeezing his eyes shut. "I don't want to cheat on my wife, I don't want to have an affair." But he seemed to be reminding himself of that as much as he was telling her.

"You don't have to, we don't have to. I just don't want you to leave."

"I don't think I can just be friends with you." He sighed, but gently leaned forward, resting his palm against her cheek. Her eyes fluttered shut at the touch. He pulled away, a second later than he probably should've. "I've got to go clear my head. Don't worry, I won't just leave, I'll come back here to talk to you again, promise."

"Alright," she said, nodding. "So I'll see you soon?"

"Yes. Goodbye." He said as he walked away. After he was gone, she took a deep breath and went back to her room.

She felt heavy as she sank down onto an upholstered chair. She felt horrible for putting him in this situation, for encouraging him to cheat on his wife and lie. And she didn't even love him, it was just a mission! Work, politics. He was so decent, good. She did want his friendship had no doubt that he had never been unfaithful before. He wanted her, he'd said so. How much of it was because of the real Elphaba and how much of it was because of the act she was putting on? Did he love her, or think he did? He was going to be hurt one way or another. If she cared for him at all (and she realized she did, with a bit of horror), she should encourage him to leave.

But she couldn't, because of the Resistance. Her hands were tied and there was nothing she could do but wait for him to fall for her and open up to her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Alright, wanted to post a little note. Originally, this story was rated M, but I feel like a lot of people hadn't been able to see it or were afraid of the rating. As there isn't going to be any graphic sex or violence, I decided to lower it to a T rating. That being said, there are some darker themes and adult language. Thanks!**

* * *

Fiyero did come back to her, the very next afternoon. When she was asked to come down the stairs, she refused, instead requesting that her guest come up to see her. A few minutes later, there he was, knocking on her door. She smiled, completely genuine. "You came back, I was afraid you wouldn't."

"I wouldn't leave without at least saying goodbye to you first."

She frowned, crestfallen. "Is that what this is? Goodbye?"

He let out a deep breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "No, not unless you've decided to send me away, which you can still do." His hand found hers and she intertwined her fingers together with his. "I would miss you too much. I know this isn't ideal. I know this is the last thing I should be doing, and I shouldn't let you do it, either." A bit of anxiousness rose up in her again, but she pushed it aside. "But I don't know if I would forgive myself if I don't take this chance with you."

For a second, she considered stopping it right there. This was more than seducing someone she didn't love, it was more than sex. He was already going to get hurt, but with every sweet word it got worse. His unloved and unloving yet faithful wife would be hurt. The three children he had with her could be hurt. Things could go so badly so easily- she might even be the one to make it go bad.

Was she even going to be able to do that if she was forced to?

For a second she was ready to stop it, to tell him perhaps not the truth, but a close enough lie that would end things before it got ugly. Then his mouth met hers, and she stopped thinking about it because his arms were wrapped around her, pulling her close to him, playing in her hair. She was vaugly aware of the fact that her mission was the last thing on her mind. There would be time for that later, she promised herself.

* * *

Avaric didn't even bother knocking on the door, something that completely annoyed Elphaba. "Since when do you just let yourself in?"

Avaric shrugged. "Why does it matter?"

She gave him a pointed look. "Fiyero was here earlier. We-"

"Oh." Was all he said to cut her off, not needing her to explain further. "Well, wouldn't you two have been back in your bedroom, anyway?"

"Not necessarily," she said, smiling when he squirmed and moved away from the couch he had almost sat down on, instead leaning against the wall.

She was sitting in one of the over sized chairs. Her hair was down and she looked tired, though he couldn't tell if it was physical or mental. "Alright, alright. Will knock next time. So did you find anything out?"

She bit her lip. "No, not yet... It just happened and afterward I didn't know what to say. And what I did say had nothing to do with politics."

"You know you can't put this off forever. Everyone is already anxious. They're just being appeased because Carsine doesn't have any doubt about your ability to do anything. Seriously, I think that man believes you could fly to the moon if you put your mind to it."

She smiled. "He's my dad. When my Nanny died, I just moved into his house, and that was that. I remember the night after her funeral, he and his wife were putting me to bed and I asked them what I was supposed to call them. They just said Mom and Dad, and that was that."

He laughed, feeling the need to sit closer to her- he decided the coffee table was a safe enough place to perch. "Do you ever think about your birth parents or-"

"I know Nanny probably wasn't actually my grandmother, but it doesn't matter. My mother died giving birth to me, she always told me so there's no questions there. I thank her for giving birth to me, but what else is there? And my father wasn't even there, so whatever. Things turned out for the better, definitely."

"Definitly. I'll let you go. There's a meeting tonight. I'll just tell them that you've progressed, if there's anything you need to know, I'll tell you."

She nodded and got up to walk him to the door. "Avaric?"

"Yeah?"

"I know I'm supposed to be neutral, but I really don't want to find anything bad out about him. I really want him to be OK."

He studied her, frowning. There was something he didn't like in what she said, but he couldn't say what- or at least wouldn't, to her anyway. "I've always known him to be a good guy. I doubt you'll find out anything that will warrant him being killed."

"Then why do we bother doing this- I mean, you've known him for years."

"They asked me about him, but I couldn't say anything concrete enough for them. They said I was biased."

She scoffed at that. "And now I'm not?"

Something flashed in his eyes. "Hopefully you are. I hope you are." He finally walked out the door. "Bye!" He called, slamming the door behind him.

"Wait, what?" she asked the door that had all but slammed in her face. She didn't let herself think about it though, because she already had too much guilt on her mind and could not add any more to it.


	6. Chapter 6

Writer's block sucks. While I'm not completely satisfied with this, it's definitely better than nothing! Hopefully working through it got me a little less stuck and the next update will be better... Hope you enjoy.

* * *

She twisted in his arms, and he pulled her close to him as they got comfortable and caught their breath. She felt shy, like she always did afterward and was unable to meet his eye, instead tracing the pattern of his diamond tattoos with her fingertip. The light green color of her own skin made a pretty contrast against the warm ochre color of his. Of course, the fact that no human was meant to have her skin color soured the effect a bit, but she told herself to stop being cynical. She closed her eyes, feeling him play with her hair (he loved her hair, for whatever reason). "I could stay right here all day, right here with you."

"You could," she said, not minding the idea too much herself. "If you wanted to. I won't push you away."

"That's good to know," he said and she could feel him press a kiss against the top of her head. "But how about we go out instead? Get something to eat?"

"What?" she asked, confused. "You mean in front of everyone?"

He goaned, not liking her response. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing, nothing. It's just, well, you're married and I'm not your wife and-"

He sighed, not having wanted to think about that too much. "Look, I know. I know this isn't the most moral or right thing to be doing, but it's not like anyone's dead. If people figure things out, they figure it out. I'll own up to what I've done if that's the case. I care about you, I don't want this to be just sex. You know that, don't you? I admit that I don't know what's going to happen or how things are going to work out, but I'm not going to hide all of my actions from the world and I don't want you to feel like you have to, either."

No words came to her- what could she say that would match the genuine, frank honesty there? She wasn't capable of being that truthful, not with her life. He was doing everything he was doing because it was what he wanted. He knew it wasn't the right or noble thing, but there was nothing false about any of it. God, was there anything that wasn't false about her?

"I love you," he said, so easily to her silence, making her feel worse. She froze for a second, knowing that whether she loved him or not, those words would never pop out of her mouth. They just couldn't. She smiled at him though, leaning up to kiss him deeply, hoping desperately that that conveyed something to him, love or affection or just something. Did he really love her? She was sure he thought he did, and she was also sure he didn't actually. He didn't know the real person that she was. He just knew the facade she put on, meant to bring him to her. She gave him exactly what he wanted. He might love the facade and the fantasy, but even that she doubted. She didn't blame him for it, it wasn't his fault. It's easy to love when you're given exactly what you want.

_The real question is, do you love him?_

* * *

So they did go out, as she had no real reason to prohibit it. Despite his bravado, he did seem a little less confident once they were outside- but he only let her see it for a second. It was easy to see- she found it so easy to read him- him remind himself that he had already made a choice; he closed the gap between them, wrapping his arm around her as they walked on the public street. Conversation flowed easily between them, to the point where she was able to work her mission into the conversation. "Avaric was telling me about a law the Wizard recently passed that barred Animals from public transport other than in pens specifically marked for them."

"Oh, I'm pretty sure that was passed a couple of years ago, actually. Back when 'Ric and I were still in University."

She frowned, having hoped to get more out of him than that. "Oh, you're probably right." She knew he was, actually. "It just seemed... odd."

"Yeah. Sometimes I can't understand the Wizard's reasons for doing things." She groaned inwardly. Could he have gotten any more vauge? Just something to make it clear if he supported the Wizard or not. Anything. She was going to try to question him further, but before she could think of anything, he stopped in a store front. "Do you like that?" he asked, pointing into the window at a necklace. It was a blue glass medallion on a silver chain. It wasn't at all neat or symmetrical and was flecked with greens and purples. Horribly imperfect.

Yet it appealed to her, and the question distracted her just enough- as had probably been his intention; she had already noticed he didn't seem to enjoy discussing politics. "Well, yes," popped out of her mouth and he smiled.

"Then I'll get it for you."

"You don't have to do that, I-"

He was already dragging her by the hand into the shop. "I wouldn't have mentioned it if I weren't already determined to get it for you." He indicated the necklace to the shopkeeper and paid him for it. He didn't bother getting a box for it, instead going ahead and clasping it around her neck.

"Do you push gifts like this on your wife, too?" she said to him as they walked out, Fiyero happy until she mentioned it.

"I don't know if I remember ever just walking through shops with Sarima," he grumbled, enjoying talking about his wife even less than he enjoyed discussing politics. "It suits you, though."

"Weird?"

"Pretty."

She rolled her eyes at him. "Shut up," she said, but kissed him, right on the street. She felt happy, but would have been happier if he knew the truth about her and still felt the same way. She would have also been happier if she had been any closer to completing her mission, much happier.


	7. Chapter 7

"Liar," he hissed in her ear, catching her by the arm.

"What the hell are you talking about?" she asked, trying to shake him off, but his grip only tightened. He was able to wrangle her arm into a position that looked almost friendly instead of pseudo-abusive as they walked in the middle of the night aware from the old abandoned warehouse. "Let go of me."

"Not until you admit that you lied," he spit out at her.

She glared at him. "I told them the truth. Fiyero doesn't discuss politics much but he doesn't have many strong opinions, either. He goes along with what the Wizard says because he doesn't want to jeopardize the safety of his tribe or his family. He doesn't like the Wizard's treatment of Animals, but doesn't want to anger him either. That's what I told them, and it's the truth. So stop fucking accusing me of things, and leave me alone."

He jerked her around so he could look her in the eyes. "And you still lie!"

"No I'm not!"

"Shut up," he hissed; their argument was getting the attention of others. "That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the fact that you're in love with him and you lied and told the Resistance that you didn't."

"I don't love him!"

"Yes you do, and you know it. I know it. When you see him, you lose your cool. When you talk about him you babble- and you're perfectly willing to, if not lie, stretch the truth for his sake. You love him and you're willing to screw over the Resistance for it."

"I would never hurt the Resistance. I haven't lied to them-" he glared at her, but she didn't correct herself. "I told them the truth, he doesn't make the Wizard angry, but he'd follow whatever ruler we suggest, too! He's not hurting anything, he's fine. We can leave him alone. There's no reason to kill him. I haven't done anything that could put the Resistance at risk, so why do you care about my personal life?"

"I don't care," he insisted, although something in his voice was off. "But it's not you I'm worried about. If they decide to kill him, they will. And if they all decide that you were trying to protect him, the others will expect you to be punished like anyone would be punished for lying about a mission."

"What do you mean?"

"Anyone else tries to protect a charge, throw a remission is killed, their charge too. Normally I don't care who loses their neck, but I really don't want to be around if your freaking father has to order your death- and he would have to. He's the only one we all obey, and if he didn't do it, everyone would insist upon it, maybe revolt."

"No, no he-"

"Stop it, you can't talk your way out of this. You know it's the truth."

She'd felt attacked at the meeting, everyone staring, demanding cold hard facts that she couldn't give them- but just having him standing here, glaring at her was worse. "What am I supposed to say?"

"Nothing. I just want you to think about what would happen to your father if they kill you because of this mission. So do you still claim that you're not in love with Fiyero or can you admit it yet?"

"Shut up Avaric and let me go," she said, but there was no fire to her voice, no argument, just exhaustion. He let go without protest and didn't bother telling her goodnight. She didn't glance back at him as she walked away.

* * *

With every step she became more and more sure she was going to kill him. What did he think he was doing? She could take care of herself! She would make things right before anything bad had to happen: well, perhaps something bad would happen to Avaric, but she was fine with that. She was to the point where she welcomed that.

The pub was still in the good part of town- but close enough to the edge that it was easy to get into the seedier part of the City if that was the way the evening progressed. She knew they wouldn't be expecting her which was exactly what she wanted: Avaric's look of shock at seeing her walk into the bar was satisfying. Fiyero was looking very concerned about encountering his mistress unexpectedly, but she wasn't worried about that. "Elphaba, what in the world are you doing here?"

She smirked at him. "I was home alone, dear cousin, and decided against staying in. Isn't it lucky I happened to run into two such fine gentlemen while I was out?" She pulled out the chair that was stationed between Fiyero and Avaric's, not bothering to wait and be asked to sit.

"Of course it is," Fiyero said, breaking free of some of his shock at seeing her. Still, he seemed uncomfortable and asked to be excused for a minute. She watched him walk outside of the bar, clearly in need of fresh air.

"Alright, can you please tell me what you're doing?" Avaric asked once he was gone.

She settled back into her chair. "I knew this was the bar you frequented, and it's rare when Fiyero doesn't spend the night with me- he more or less lives with me now, which makes sneaking off to meetings a little difficult. When he mentioned that he wouldn't bee over because he had made plans with a friend of his... well, it wasn't that difficult to put two and two together."

"I was more wondering why you've decided to grace us with your presence."

"I was wondering what the hell you're doing meeting up with him like this, without telling me."

He rolled his eyes at her. "Believe it or not, Fiyero and I _have_ been friends for years. I'm not allowed to go out drinking with an old friend of mine?"

"You are, but you hadn't until we got into that argument."

"You seriously cannot be angry with me for trying to help keep you alive- and him alive, if I can!"

She glared at him, as he confirmed her suspicion. "I did _not _ask for you to help me."

Whatever comeback he could have come up with was lost when Fiyero walked back inside, looking apprehensive at sitting back down. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

"No," Elphaba said as she reached out for him, pouring sugar into her voice and letting her hand rest on his wrist longer than necessary- partially to annoy Avaric, partially because she didn't want to pull away from him. "Not at all, sit, sit."

Really, she had no idea why she was so desperate to keep Avaric out of things. He didn't understand it at all, he didn't listen to her, so even though she knew he really was helping her, she didn't let him. He didn't bother trying to push the conversation toward politics, falling quiet and withdrawn. Fiyero clearly had not told Avaric that he was having an affair with his cousin and had no intention to; as such, he only discussed superficial things with her. The night was horribly awkward for those reasons, but also for something else that she could not quite pinpoint.


	8. Chapter 8

"Not publicly, true, but privately he has confided in me that he strongly opposes the Wizard of Oz." her voice was calm and clear and she was completely in control. There was no quiver to her voice, no hint of her being anxious or emotional.

Jackyl studied her, not used to her calm. "You said he doesn't discuss politics often. What brought on the sudden change in him?"

She shrugged, not really having an answer for that. "I suppose he finally decided he trusted me enough to say something like that. I guess it finally came up." So what if it weren't true, if he never said it. He always seemed sympathetic enough. And then there was finally the nugget of truth that he had mentioned in passing. "And the Animals have equal rights on Arjiki lands, where he is the ultimate authority."

That finally caused a flutter amongst those sitting, watching, enjoying the drama. "Is that true?" someone asked, echoed by pleasant surprise from the others... and unpleasant surprise from those tired of waiting and wanting to do something.

Jackyl raised his hand to stop the questioning. "No reason not to believe Fae, now. Of course it's the truth." He glanced back out at the others, clearly only acting the spokesperson for his superiors. "And that's good news, everything should be fine," she gave a fraction of a smile, stepping away and ready to head back to her seat. "However, you say that he doesn't want to oppose the Wizard?"

Her calm and confidence faded. "What? Well, yes. He would prefer to stay out of it."

"Then get him out of here. Now." At her shocked expression, he clarified, "He might get in the way if and when a revolution comes. If he stays out West, with his tribe, well who cares, everything should be fine. But if he stays here, he might wind up on the wrong side of things, we might be forced to... well, make sure he doesn't wind up on the wrong side."

She nodded, refusing to break in front of them all- she knew this was coming, after all. "Of course," she said, feeling her heartbreak and tears prick at her eyes, but she didn't give in to it.

"Elphaba?" Once again, Avaric didn't bother knocking on her door. She didn't yell at him, though, not having the energy to waste. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Peachy," she said, rolling her eyes and laying back against the couch which she had crashed on when she had gotten home. "Just fucking fantastic."

He hesitated in the doorway for a second before sitting down beside her on the couch. They didn't touch, but could have if they'd wanted to. "Why are you so upset? You knew he wasn't yours to keep, you knew that."

"I know," she said, studying her feet. "I guess you know you were right. I do love him. Aren't you glad you were right?"

"Of course not, do you think I wanted to be right?" She didn't respond. "God, that was the last thing I wanted, was to be right."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

She finally looked up at him. "Why did you want to be wrong?"

He answered slowly, weighing every word. "I knew that if you fell in love with him you would get hurt one way or another. Look, why are you so hung up on this, you knew this wasn't going to last forever, you knew he was going to have to leave you one way or another. Why are you so upset? This was coming."

She shrugged. "I thought he would just leave on his own, I wouldn't have to make him leave. I thought..." she trailed off with a shrug. "Sometimes I wonder if he loved me, I mean he seemed to love this me, what I showed him and some of that, most of that really was me. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if he knew me completely. If he knew my every secret, every facet of my life, would he have loved me?"

"I can't answer that question, Elphaba. Is that what this is about?"

She didn't answer him or even look at him. "I know I'm going to lose him, I knew that. But sometimes I wonder what would have happened if he knew the real me. I don't want him to leave his wife and definitely not his children- but would he have left them for me? Could he have loved me that much if he knew the real me? Or if he didn't have his family, would he want me then? I know it's insane to think about it, but still. I wonder if the circumstances were changed, but we were still us, if we could've been something."

"I know, I know. But you have to think, this is the best way this could've ended. If you think about it, you saved his life. He gets to go home to his family and his tribe because you loved him."

He thought she almost smiled there, but it vanished. "So you're not still mad at me for lying?"

"I was only angry with you because it seemed like you were well on your way to getting yourself into trouble."

"Alright, what's gotten into you? Where is this kinder, gentler Asshole coming from?"

He laughed, glad to see a little spark in her. "Who knows? I'm going to go," he said as he got up and walked toward her door, but then he hesitated. "Hey Elphaba?"

"Yeah?"

"I... never mind. Get some sleep, OK?" He was gone within seconds, not giving her a chance to ask him what he was going to say. For a few minutes she sat there and wondered about it, as well as his change in attitude, but her mind shifted back to Fiyero and she collapsed into her bed, falling into a deep sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

And that's a wrap! I hope you enjoyed this story, please read and review!

* * *

She frowned at the water-logged daisies- it was raining outside and he was soaked. She didn't greet him, but did offer him a towel to dry off with. "Hey, Fae," he said as he reached for her so he could kiss her but she didn't let him and didn't take the flowers he offered her. He frowned at her. "What's the matter?"

"You should go," she said, hoping he would listen to her but knowing he wouldn't. "You shouldn't be here, you should be with your tribe, your wife and children."

"What are you talking about? Where is this coming from?"

She couldn't look at his shock, confusion. She busied herself with cleaning the room, dusting surfaces that never collected dust in the first place. "Common sense. Just go," she commanded but her voice wavered and she hoped he didn't detect it.

"Elphaba, I don't understand this. What happened, something had to have happened." He touched her shoulder but she swatted him away. "Did Avaric figure things out? Because if he did... well I'll deal with him, I'll talk to him."

She glared at him, her wanting for him to leave turning into anger- finally, an emotion she could work with! "Just stop, just go. We're done, I won't do this anymore."

He looked hurt then, finally realizing that he was not going to be able to talk himself out of this one. "Then that's fine, I'll go. I'll leave if that's what you want, I don't want to hurt you." He was scanning her face- and she realized he was trying to figure out what he'd done wrong, how he had managed to harm her. "Just tell me why you want me to leave, I want to know, please. I'm sorry if I hurt you, I never meant to."

She reminded herself to stay steady and sure. This would only work if she did. "You never hurt me, Fiyero, because-" the truth came out easily enough, but the lie that followed it threatened to stick in her throat. "-I never loved you."

The expressions spilled across his face in quick succession. Confusion, shock, disappointment, hurt, anger. "What do you mean? What are you saying?"

She'd found it so difficult to lie to him. Now the truth about her profession caught in her throat. "This is all fake, I don't love you. This was just a game, a job. I did what I had to do and it's over."

He sputtered. "What... I-"

"I'm a terrorist. You might be surprised to know that your dear friend Avaric is too, I still don't know how that happened. You're a Prince, we wanted to see where your political ideologies lie. So they had me sleep with you. But it's fine, we'll let you go as long as you go back to the Vinkus and stay out of the way. So have a nice life. Stay safe, raise your children well."

God, that hurt on his face was going to kill her. Why couldn't he just leave? "You don't love me." His voice was cold and flat, he was horrified.

"Correct. Don't take it personally, though," she said, hating herself. "It was my job, but now it's over. So go home." She had spent the week avoiding him, unable to face him. She was glad to finally be able to tell him most of the truth, but lying about the most important detail threatened to break them both. She had to leave out that she loved him, because she knew he would never leave her if he the truth. She kept herself so controlled it scared her. On the inside she was a nervous wreck, but on the outside she was cool and manipulative.

He looked at her hard, trying to see if through the hard front she put on, but couldn't crack through it. "I can't believe this."

"Just go home, or get out of here, anyway. It's done, it's over." She grabbed his arm, leading him back out the door.

He stopped before she had quite pushed him out the door and turned so he could see her, studying her carefully before letting the flowers he still held drop to the floor. "For what it's worth, I did love you, even if all you did was lie." He didn't let her respond before he turned, pulling the door shut behind him.

She stared at it dumbly for a minute, unable to believe it was over. She was glad to not have to lie to him anymore, glad he was safe, but she felt like her heart had been cleft in two. She let herself drop to the floor, leaning her back against the door, letting her head slip back, resting against it. Without looking down she gathered the waterlogged flowers together, bringing them up to her face. She considered playing the child's game of individually plucking off petal by petal, but she knew it was pointless; there was no doubt about him loving her.

She pushed herself up, raking a hand over her hair. She considered putting the flowers in a vase, but instead dumped them into the trash. She didn't want to have to look at them, and they would just die anyway.

She would spend the day alone. The next morning she would return to her father's home, as if nothing had happened. The Resistance would be pleased Fiyero was out of the way. And Avaric... that was something she was too tired to think about, just then. Avaric would have to wait until morning, too.

It was early in the evening, but she went to bed. There were tears, there was sadness, but there was also relief. Fiyero was alive, his tribe still had their leader, his children their father. And his wife had her husband back, although Elphaba did not dwell on that.

As she settled into the bed, her hand brushed against the pendent necklace he had bought her. She went to remove it but stopped, thinking better of it and drifted into a restful, dreamless sleep.


End file.
